TOW 24 - Love and Limerence – the Experience of Being in Love (Dorothy Tennov)

Love is never simple. After devouring this scientific marvel of a book, Tennov makes it clear that the popular notions of love tend to be faulty misconceptions. One must consider all of the various types of love, which, after an extensive and lengthy Google search, can be summed up in four general types: affection, friendship, romance, and unconditional. Tennov explores the depth of limerence, a sentiment bordering between infatuation and love but is not necessarily either. Honing in on a controversial theory in the psychological community, Tennov delves into the reality of limerence and its threatening potential using credible consensuses and graphic metaphors.

            Tennov’s work demonstrates that she has the mind of a researcher: whether collecting her own data or generating theses from experts, Tennov strings together a variety of evidence to reach a valid conclusion. The foundation of Tennov’s study began with a compilation of student opinions, all stating very similar experiences in love. After analyzing these and identifying the trends, the conclusion Tennov develops is not only logical for herself, but also to the reader. If all the evidence points to the conclusion Tennov draws, no matter how strange or unaccepted, then it is only sensible to accept her thesis as rational.

            Drawing parallels between complex, experimental concepts and simple, daily-life functions creates a sense of comfort within the reader making the text easier to understand. Toys and games are at the comprehensive level of a toddler. Therefore, when Tennov states “you find yourself a player in a process (love) that bears unquestionable similarity to a game,” the simplicity of one idea transcends to the other” (67). An extremely sophisticated style of writing, the comparisons Tennov uses allows the readers to study complex thoughts on an understandable level. If the simple-minded can accept her thesis as true, then it is at least worth exploring the validity of that theory.

            What are usually just words on paper are transformed into real-life situations through Tennov’s provoking and thoughtful analysis. Skeptics cannot deny that Tennov’s studies and evidence are cogent if not concrete; the ingenuous peoples who are not well-versed in scientific jargon cannot deny that Tennov’s theories make sense. If the two opposite ends of a spectrum, educated versus the… less educated, can accept a theory, everything else should simply fall into place.